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New s** is easily the best part about dating, hands down. The tension, the excitement, the build-up, the moment it actually happens, the high after it does; it’s exciting, and romantic, and just plain awesome all around.
But beyond that, and because s** is never "just s**" with a woman, it's also the perfect opportunity for her to through her s** list, and get some deeper insight on you.
Yep, you read that right. Her "s** list." Like a mental checklist, but for s**; a grading system, or report card of sorts. It'll vary slightly from girl to girl, depending on personal tastes and motives, but we all have one, and the gist is more or less always the same. It’s how we judge how serious this union, and you, are going to be.
All the nerves, excitement and lust aside, there are a few major things that she’s hyper-aware of the first time around, and how you perform will determine whether she comes back. So if you’re looking to score high, in hopes of keeping her in your bed for some time to come, then pay close attention to the following:
Emotional Foreplay & Kissing
When it comes to women, s**ual chemistry is half the battle. And the first signs of it — emotional foreplay (or flirting) and kissing — are basically the single determining factors (for her) in how far things go. You could have been late, dinner could have been crap — none of that actually matters.
We’re really only looking to answer two things: 1) Are you flirting/kissing/touching me for me, or for you? The difference between the two is not only painfully obvious, but incredibly telling of the type of person and lover you are.
And 2) Is whatever you’re doing setting the right mood? And just so we’re clear, dim lighting and soft music have nothing to do with it. A deathly hungry stare under the obnoxious neon lights of an elevator can get her there just as quick.
Now, understand that during those early days, while dates and kisses can be a bit awkward at times, we’re generally pretty open to giving this a few tries before scrapping the notion completely (it does take some time to learn each other, after all). But unless there's something about who you are or what you do that she reckons is worth the bad s** (money, fame, a job) — if this box isn’t ticked, you’re not passing "Go."
Your Size And Your Body
OK, so here’s the thing about women and size. We do notice, it does matter; that's just the way it is. But. It's not a deal-breaker (...unless it really is) because there is so much more that plays into it. It’s all of it: size, grooming, the way you’ve been flirting and kissing up to this point, and of course, the fantasy. You see, for women, excitement is half the battle.
It’s a physical excitement, yes, but it's so much more mental, and she’s been building a story up until this point. What that story is, and how critical you are to the storyline can be hard to tell, and totally depends on the woman, but what is for sure is that it won’t work if you can’t play the part. So yes, she’s taking notes, of course she is. We’re casting for a role here, and it has to be right. Also, we need to bring a detailed report back to the girls… obviously.
Condoms
This is basically the last check-point on the pre-s** list, and it’s a simple one. Definitely a deal-breaker. Do you have one? Did she have to ask for it? And how strict is your policy? Any holes here and smart woman will be out the door. There is nothing uns**ier than a guy who isn’t responsible about s**. Just like there’s nothing s**ier than a man who puts safety first.
The s**
When it time finally comes to get down to the nitty gritty and actually have s**, there are about a thousand different thoughts running through her head. But aside from what it means, and how fast it happened, and what that means, and did she remember to put on a matching set, and is her ass big enough, she’s reading you, too.
First thing she’s looking to see is how good at this you are, in general. Like do you have any actual clue what you're doing? Do you know how to handle the female body generally? Or are you just fiddling around blindly hoping to hit “a spot” somewhere down there? Are you grossed out by normal s** things? Do you make lame jokes about them? Are you s**ually mature? Do you understand reciprocity?
Because it’s 2015 and she's here to get hers just as much as you want to get yours, and it’s important that you not only understand that, but that you make it a priority. This is a big one, because if this feels anything like work, she'd probably rather be at the office. We don’t expect you to know exactly what we need right now and how, but we do need to know that you’re at least paying attention, can follow basic cues, and are willing to learn.
If this sounds like a lot to be thinking about the first time, that's because it is. We’re multi-taskers, this is what we do. So the more you can take off her plate, the better. For you, and for her. The last place a woman wants to be during s** is in her head, but let's face it, s** is a big deal. It’s the beginning of a new level of intimacy, of potential commitment, and she needs to gauge what type of person she’s getting into bed with.
